DEAR FRIENDS, THIS YEAR …

… my offering to you is the gift which keeps on giving.

Put away your pencils and paper (if you remember what these are) and eschew all effort of memory to recall that magical sequence which begins:

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975 6659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482….

because I have it here for you, ready for Christmas and baked in a pie.

π is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, however large or small your circle.  A celebrated member of the family of Mathematical Constants, π is as real as you or I.  (Though, come to think of it, i is not.)

Now π, though a Real Number, is embarrassingly Irrational, which means that trying to pin it down will take you forever.  Indeed, you will never even find a significant set of repeats in its endless train.  Arising quite naturally from the intrinsic properties of a circle, which you might imagine would keep it properly contained with no way out, it nonetheless goes on and on.

(I have read that π is also transcendental, but I can assure you that receipt of this gift is imminent.)

Anyway, as I was saying, when called on at parties, you no longer need to trot out a list of numbers with a self-effacing ‘etc. etc.’ at the end, because you now have a π to represent all of these, in order, down to the last ever digit.  Which digit, of course, cannot exist.  My gift thus allows you to carry a paradox in your pocket.

Countless correspondents have responded over the years to my annual gifts.   If you remember, the rules are that these must be objects capable of electronic delivery and also welcome as both luxurious and necessary – the defining qualities of a good present.

The majority of the responses have signified grateful thanks, though one particular friend tells me that his virtual cupboard is full to overflowing with punctuation marks which breed faster than rabbits and never stop interrupting important business.

I sincerely hope that receipt of π will now allow you to keep an infinite selection of numbers in one small ideogram, easily put away until needed to act as a generator of random digits, say, or as an aid to sleep, if this message has not already served as such. 

This post comes virtually festooned with love and best wishes to all for the New Year.  And. I wish a happy Christmas to people – well, those who count letters.

For now, bye-bye, or – if the brain will not explode at the immensity of the concept –  π – π.